Guys peeing at urinal. People trust you, though, and believe that you know how to take the square root of shit like

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You put your whole mouth around the lip of bottles and only drive American-made cars.

That you are a vessel for filth and detritus and you are here to deposit your cargo thusly.

You have no couth.

The process of spitting into the toilet is more reactionary and natural than it is a conscious decision.

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There is nothing inevitable about premature male death.

It may be a subconsciously learned skill passed from father to son or, more simply, from man to man.

Not only is the cubicle engaged, but the dreaded queue for urinals is, unlike me, in full flow.